Fail to return my email? I won’t take it personally, I but I will remember.

A memtor of mine reminded me one time when I was hurt by a colleague, “do not take offense”. It’s scriptural and founded in basic personal growth.

not returning emails, social courtesy, email

Proverbs 19:11 – Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

I have occasion to send business emails. I don’t spam folks. I don’t pitch deals over email. I  don’t ask for you to show up somewhere so I can draw circles and sell you disappearing thigh jam or lotions and potions. I generally connect people and am genuinely looking to find out more about what you’re doing so I can assess whether or not there is potential for a future relationship or better yet, friendship.

Proverbs 18:19 – A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

There are occasions where I don’t see a response or acknowledgement from someone when I’m relatively certain they’ve received my email. Accounting for communication inside platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook or Direct Messages on Twitter, there are a lot of ways I’ve connected with people. I’m pretty savvy and I gernerally understand when I’m being blown off.

Ecclesiastes 7: 21-22 – Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.

At times, I’m amazed that people simply don’t take the time to email a response stating, “I’m busy.” “I’ll catch up next month.” or “You suck.” You know, just something that would lead me to know that meeting with me isn’t a priority. It’s the complete lack of acknowedgement that I feel is a terrible social skill. After all, one never knows when a relationship, a touch, all be it digital may serve to come around and help provide access to folks, places, and things that could be useful.

“Whenever anyone has offended me I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.” Rene Descartes  

The offense that I may have felt in years past has now been relegated to a place where I can put myself in the shoes of the recipient of the communication from me.

  • Maybe they didn’t actually receive it. ( Email Vortex of Hell)
  • Maybe they are busy or in crisis. ( Happens to everyone )
  • Maybe they perceive that I in no way add enough value (real or imagined) that even returning an email is warranted
  • Maybe they truly don’t have any social skills ( some people just didn’t benefit from good mentorship )

In any event, I’m speaking for many when I say, your loss. If you don’t have enough depth of personality to acknowledge individuals, then I won’t take offense but I will remember it. By the way, this applies to those of the world who make appointments they don’t keep.

It was great advice that my friend shared with me a couple of years ago. I can’t take anything to heart. Take no offense in anything. It serves only to diminish effectiveness. What the advice has done is this. It’s allowed me to, in a wholesome way, to  segragate the individuals who would be a waste of time from everyone else.

not returning emails

These simple communication rules don’t apply to emails when they are generated for delivery to lists of any size. If I blind carbon copy you, you’re off the hook to get back to me. If my communication wasn’t important enough to go to your personally, then you are absolved from simple response rules.

If you’ve experienced a lack of professionalism with emails or messages you sent with respect to the response, don’t take offense. Actually, there are 260,000,000 million search results associated with emails not being returned. You are not alone. Acknowledge your role in whether or not the individual was truly needing to respond. How did your communication sound? What was the tone? Did you send it to the right place? The assessments should take into  account all possibilities. If you know you were blown off, then consider where that individual may fit into your life.

I seek to become that which I hope to attract. I desire time with thoughtful, brilliant, helpful engaging mentors who are stronger, smarter, faster, and in a position to hold me to a higher standard. Life is short. We have a limited amount of time. We should be hanging out with and communicate with people we respect and people from whom we may learn. If someone fails to respond to me, they’ve pretty much eliminated themselves from that precious category.



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